You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
