Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
