if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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