dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
