Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
