i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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