Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
