My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
