i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
