Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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