Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
