Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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