i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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