mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
