we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
