Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize