i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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