Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
