You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
