Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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