i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
