lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
