Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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