Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
