John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to fling myself into the sun
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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