Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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