He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
