I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
