And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
