all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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