so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
