Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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