go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
