in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
