i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
