So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
