I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize