I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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