VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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