Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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