He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
