Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
