You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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