Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
