We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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