My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
