You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
