it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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