Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I intend to get homeless drunk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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