what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
